100 Theme Challenge: Kenny's Introduction
by Suyuness
Summary: Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be normal. I mean, I'm pretty normal compared to everyone else in this town, but I'm not normal when it comes to social standards. I'm more of an outcast, or a freak, even. 100 Theme Challenge #1: Introduction.


_**Introduction – Kenny**_

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be normal. I mean, I'm pretty normal compared to everyone else in this town, but I'm not normal when it comes to social standards. I'm more of an outcast, or a freak, even. I mean, I'm poor, I've worn the same fucking parka year after year, and, despite that I'm on welfare and I've got a job, I _still _don't eat enough to consider healthy.

Of course, I don't really mind. I got used to it long ago. I just wish Cartman wouldn't rip on me all the time. That fat fuck is _always _getting on my case about me being poor. He flaunts his money like it's nothing, "struts his stuff" when he gets expensive clothes, and always, _always,_ makes sure to eat the most expensive food served in the cafeteria as slow… as… possible.

Anyways, now that my little ranting is over, maybe I ought to introduce myself to you.

My name's Kenny McCormick. I'm sure you all saw the show I was in when I was young; I was the one who 'died' all the time. I swear, I think the creators of that show just loved to off me. I even caught one of them masturbating to the thought of killing me once! Do you know how _sick _that is, man? I had nightmares for weeks! Jesus…

Sorry about that. I guess I'm just in a ranting mood. But anyways, back to introducing myself.

Okay… Let's see… Name: check. Show: check. Family: … Ah! We'll go there next!

My family's pretty weird. My dad's an abusive drunk and is in jail, my older brother ran away, and my mom… She died a few years ago. Dad got really drunk one night and literally beat the shit out of her. I was at Kyle's that night, so I didn't know anything had happened until the next day when I went home and found Mom in a puddle of blood. I've had to live on my own ever since. Of course, social services come out to check on me every couple months, and I get some money to support myself, but otherwise I have to fend for myself.

I work at the local coffee shop with Tweek and Craig. Though, really, I'm the one who does most of the work; Tweek and Craig seem to think that they're joined at the lips. I don't mind, though. More tips for me, less for them. Tweek's dad, Mr. Tweak, is pretty cool, too. He's sometimes gives me bonuses in my paycheck for no reason what-so-ever. I asked him about it once, and he just said, he was "trying to be a good neighbor and help me up like Tweak's coffee does on a cold, rainy morning." Whatever that means.

Stan and Kyle help me out, too. They're in a similar situation to me considering Kyle's bitch-of-mother disowned him when she found out that he was gay. ("That's a sin!") Stan's parents accepted them pretty well, though, and they even let Kyle move in with them after Sheila's overreaction. I feel jealous of them, really, since they share such an intense relationship. I've never been that close to anybody.

…

I need to tell you more about myself. I mean, I'm supposed to be introducing _me _to you, not _my friends _to you.

As you can tell, I'm pretty fair-minded. I don't usually take anything to heart; you learn to ignore things when you're poor. However, I'm quite the adventurous type. I remember when I was younger and I used cat piss to get high. Hahaha, ohh, what a great three days those were. Major boobage, dude. That world was rockin'. Anywayd, I eventually OD'd, and in the show I actually died. But, as you can tell, I'm alive and well, and have moved on to even greater drugs.

Just last year I started using heroin. Man is that shit fucked up! The places you go while hyped up on those drugs… Oh, man, you wouldn't believe all the awesome shit I did! I got to swim with fish in outer space; I found out God is actually a chick then had sex with her; I even ate the moon, dude! It's actually not cheese—it's a doughnut hole. Weird, huh?

Anyways, aside from my experimenting and weirdness, I'm actually a pretty cool dude. I'm up for just about anything—but I know when to stop; I'm not a complete and total idiot… Okay, maybe I am. But that's beside the point.

You know, talking to you, it's made me notice something:

Normal is what you are used to, it's not how someone acts. If someone says you're weird, it's because you're different from their 'normal.' So, I guess that means I would be 'normal' in that sense.

Right, so now that I've introduced myself, why don't you introduce yourself? I mean, introductions _are _the most important part of developing a friendship…

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_End.

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Right, so I've started doing the 100 Themes Challenge. This is for the first theme, Introduction. Tell me what y'all think, 'kay?


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